El Camino: Madrid

I got up early this morning to take a taxi back to Santiago, then a train to Madrid.

Once I arrived in Madrid, I managed to find the Metro Station, figure out which subway I wanted to take, purchase the ticket, and make my way to the platform and then to my hotel, all without assistance. Or getting nervous about the whole thing. (Ok, the purchase the ticket part took me about ten tries, but I did manage to figure it out.) Am I the same person who left home just a few short weeks ago?

One of my Camino friends, Stephy, from Holland, talked me into taking a sunset cruise around the bay and out to the lighthouse last night. I was tired, and tempted to pass, but quickly came to my senses. Like I’m going to get another chance anytime soon?

The ride was chilly, but beautiful. We snagged a spot near the front of the boat, and just sat and enjoyed the ride, one last chance to share a bit of each other’s stories. A wonderful close to a trip I will long remember.

In the last three days on the trail, I learned why I came on this walk.

I walked to claim my strengths.

I know they, the ubiquitous they, meant well when they taught me not to focus on my strengths. They wanted me to be well-rounded; to avoid the sin of arrogance, to not rest on my laurels, to always keep striving. And they thought the best way to do that was to often remind me of the ways in which I could do better, to treat the things I’d done well as just meeting expectations. 

I learned the lesson well, too well. As I shared my story with them one evening, Stephy called me brave, Mal said I am strong. In both cases, I cringed a little. I deflected their praise. But, why? Surely the tools I carry in my life-coping kit would be more effective if I decide to own my strengths with my whole being.

There is no need to cringe, no need to hide.

Today, I can say it out loud.

I am strong, I am brave, I am tough.

I can walk 20 km one day, despite the pain that comes with every step the latter part of the walk, and then get up the next morning and do it again.

I am resilient, creative, intelligent, resourceful.

The Universe was right when it nudged me to undertake the second half of my walk. I needed to go the whole distance to understand the lesson. I am so glad I was able to finish; that my sores and aches were not so great they prevented me from continuing on. The trek was enough to test the depths of my grit and determination, but not enough to break me.

I am worthy, I am good enough. 

I can walk to the end of the world!

Photos: The lighthouse from the bay; doorways to heaven, highlighted by the setting sun