Taking a Break

I showed up. I went to my appointments last Wednesday. 

The oncologist and I spent about a half hour first thing in the morning, talking over pros and cons of the various treatment options. Based on our consensus, I started taking exemestane, an aromatase inhibitor, that night. (If my body tolerates the drug, and I hope it will, I will be on it for quite some time.) 

I went home and grabbed lunch, then headed back out to spend almost two hours in the radiology department. I am now properly marked and measured and scanned; I will start my sixteen sessions of radiation on 6/25.

Then, I took a break from cancer for the rest of the week. I dropped all those questions and concerns, obsessions and control issues, into a handy basket, firmly closed the lid, then tucked the whole package away for a few days.

My red-headed stepchild had come into town for the weekend.

Since she's somehow turned into a responsible and productive adult, chances to spend one-on-one time with her have become few and far between, and it was easy to set everything aside to focus on renewing our relationship.

We spent hours on my back porch, sipping coffee and just talking. We have both been dealing with world-rocking challenges these past couple of years, and it was wonderful to spend time leisurely reviewing our learnings and remaining conundrums. We provide good perspective for one another. 

I was sad to watch her drive off yesterday morning.

Once she left, I sat down with my calendar to get an idea of the shape of my days this coming week.

I had to laugh. Clearly the Universe doesn't want me to sit around moping as I wait to start treatment next week, because my friends have reached out from several directions to pull me off my couch and out from under my fuzzy blanket. (Probably a good thing - it'll be a bit warm this week for blankets.) I have coffee, lunch, dinner, Shakespeare in the Park - a something going on almost every day of this week. I'm sure I'll still manage to find time to obsess about cancer and its effects on my life now and again, but I won't have enough down time for it to take over my days.

I'm calling this a good thing.