Itchy Feet

Harriman Ranch, Granite, WY

There's just something about Colorado - the mountains, the sky, the air.

Recently, there's a pattern to my visits to the state. I go, have a lovely time, come home, and open up the real estate listings - for the entire state. I don't need outside advice to tell me this is a lousy idea from the get-go. I have no idea where I'd want to live in Colorado, but know enough to know I don't even know what questions I'd need to ask to get myself landed in a place I'd be happy. (If you can sort through that sentence, you get bonus points...)

I don't suppose I really want to leave my family in friends in Kansas City behind. There are reasons why I landed back here when I got cancer. There are good people everywhere in this country, but it takes time to find 'your people' - the people who get you; the ones who will have your back in times of trouble, who will give you a hand up when you're down. 

But still, I feel the call.

I get it. There's been a lot of pain in my life in recent years; many months of struggle as I work to regain my balance. These are hard times to get through, and I've firmly established long ago that I don't like to do hard things. Somewhere in my head, moving to Colorado would be like my camper van experience - packing up my kit bag to leave all of my troubles behind as I stop and breathe and take in the beauty of the world.

Yes, I have equity in my house. Yes, it's tempting to sell it, take the money and run. Run fast, run far.

Sadly, the voice of experience tells me this wouldn't work. I got away with it in the camper van, but only because my adventure had a limited scope. Sure as sunrise, when I landed, all the problems I had run away from came back to settle around my feet and wait patiently (or not so patiently) to be dealt with. Running away from the hard feelings doesn't work. Even when I'd really, really like it to.

**sigh**

Time to close the real estate listings and keep on keepin' on with the life I have. It's a good life; there is beauty in all of the days I have. The day will come when I will have more free time again. I'll have time to travel, to drink in the beauty of the outdoors. And if I listen to the voice of reason, I'll also have a place to come home to.

There's a lot to be said for having a home base.