Graduation Season

I have several graduation parties to attend these next few weeks; had a delightful evening this past Saturday as I joined the people from my old neighborhood in congratulating Eve as she crosses this significant life threshold.

I watched her for a bit as she warmly greeted her guests. So happy, her face, her whole body, proclaiming her joy in accomplishment - it did my heart good just to bask in her reflected light.

As I sat for a moment, my thoughts wandered back through the years. I could feel the echoes of her joy in my soul. And then I wondered how it can possibly have been more than forty years since I walked across a similar stage.

Every time I come across those memes which ask me what advice I'd give my eighteen year-old self, I draw a complete and utter blank. 

I'd feel a total hypocrite if I focused on the sunshine unicorn rainbow part of life. I mean, I smile every time those memories bubble to the surface, but they are all the more precious because they are the rare gems which have brought sparkle to my days.

Long-ago me wouldn't understand the value I now place on the pile of ordinary days which make up most of my memories. They are a jumble of ordinary rocks; the days I can only remember the sense, rather than the details, of. If you pick one up and study it, there is (usually) beauty there. As a heap, they are unmemorable. But. They are the background of the mosaic of my life story; without them the rest of the picture makes no sense. So precious.

I couldn't bear to tell her of the hard days ahead, those caches of sharp-edged stones which have cut so deeply as they were added to the picture. Best to stumble into those as they come - no need to worry in advance. 

I do wish I could give her the box of coping mechanisms I've developed along the way. These are the tools which enable me to step back and make sense of the developing picture as new stones are added to the story of my life. Sometimes, I can even use them to help shape the image. But like all tools, they are only useful if one understands what they are used for, and has a need to use them, so probably best she picks them up along the way.

Nope. No helpful advice from this corner. Young me is just going to have to figure out life the same way old(er) me is still working to figure it out - one step at a time.