Advent II: Peace

"Yeah, uh-huh," says my cynical side. "Peace? In this day and age?"

Hmmm...

As I watched the light of the candle, I decided the Peace of Advent is probably not the kind where one is at Peace because everything is hunky-dory, with smiles all around, at the Happy Unicorn Rainbow Farm up on the hill. 

As I watched the flame flicker, backed by the light of Hope, I figured it's more likely to be the sort of Peace where you are still for a moment; at Peace despite all the things.

It's the kind of Peace I find when I relinquish my efforts to control what's outside of me, and instead turn my attention to controlling my reaction to what's happening in my world. As Viktor Frankl taught me so well, it's the only thing I can control anyways. 

(This is not because of any lack of effort on my part, I assure you. Some part of me is still convinced that if I can just round up all the ducks and get them in the right order, I'll definitely be able to bend the will of the world to my hand. I have not been successful thus far, but there's always tomorrow.)

When I am able to accept those things I cannot change, when I am able to take one more step in the direction of changing those things I can, I, despite all the things, find a measure of Peace.

This is never as easy for me as I think it should be and I've been actively working on it for several decades. I've had to let go of dreams aplenty, say goodbye to too many of the people I love. It's been hard!

Time and again, I find myself focused on clinging, eyes squinched and laser-focused, to my vision of what I want to happen as I travel along life's river. Then, when whatever-it-was I was busy clutching slips from my grasp anyhow, I look up to find I've missed part of my precious journey. There's no going back to claim it.

No, I don't get what I want any more often when I give up my efforts to control the flow of events, but when I let go and allow the water to carry me along, I sure swallow a lot less of it. When I'm not busy fighting the current, I can relax a bit, open my eyes, widen my field of vision, and catch more of the Beauty of my journey. 

I'll keep working on it - if only because those moments of Peace are so comforting.