It was quite a ways to go for dinner - they live in central Iowa - but I've driven further. When I showed up, they were more grateful for my presence than I could have anticipated, which made my heart cry a few happy tears. I am SO glad I went. These days, I can use all the love I can get.
Saturday and Sunday were perfect days to drive. Big, white, fluffy clouds. Temperate weather. Turns out a bit of time to think road thoughts was just what the doctor ordered.
I used to dread driving trips, found them tedious, boring; especially when I was driving alone. But that was before my camper van trip, before I learned to appreciate the beauty of the plains. The gently rolling hills, the fields sporting the sprouts of the crops which help to feed the nation. The cows, horses, and one herd of buffalo contentedly grazing, young ones in their midst. The random wildflowers in the ditches smiled for me. I found hope in the windbreak trees which, despite showing the stress of the change in climate, have unfurled the leaves on their surviving branches to the sun and rain.
I am not the best person at staying in touch with my feelings, so as I drove, I found a classical station to serve as background noise, then poked around inside to see if any of them would talk to me. Turns out, there's lots of feelings slushing around in there.
Mostly what turned up is that I miss Bob. I miss my kitty. The drive gave me the time and space to let some of my banked up tears fall.
Once the tears had run their course, I found my mind and heart wandering through the years, pulling up random memories of moments with the people and pets I've loved. It was almost as if I'd dumped a box full of pictures onto the table, then spent time picking up one photo, then another, laughing, crying, musing about the passage of time and how quickly all I know has changed. (Wasn't it yesterday when they were small?)
These days, I am acutely aware the currency of my life is time. This weekend was time well spent.
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