Building a Gate

So. As part of my big remodeling project, I took down part of the fence surrounding the back yard. When I did so, I set aside one section of the fence to build a gate between the remaining back fence and the corner of the garage. I put the fence section out of the way, behind the garage, and added an item, "build gate", to my to-do list.

That was six or seven years ago, and the to-do item has moved from list to list to list. Each time I moved it, I'd think, "I should really just tackle the gate. I can't imagine it would take that long." The fence section has stayed right where I put it, but weeds grow up under it, and every time I'd have to yank it free it from its green tangle, and clear the mess underneath it, I'd think, "I should really just take some time and make this into a gate. It wouldn't take too long."

Then, I'd move on, and forget about it until the next time.

I've been bound and determined to get to the bottom of my outdoor to-do list this summer, and a couple of weeks ago, I decided I had time to build the gate. I started right after breakfast - it ended up taking four whole hours to complete, including the time it took to make two trips to the hardware store.

Every time I do something like this, I scratch my head. I mean, I know it wasn't a high priority, but I let the project take up head space for SIX YEARS before I did anything about it. Because????

I suppose it's because there's a part of me that's a master at procrastination. I got it from my dad, who used to pull similar stunts. He'd let something go for ages, finally tackle it in an afternoon, then stand there looking at it with a half-smile on his face, shaking his head at it. The practice drove me nuts, and I swore I'd never be like that, but here I am, half-smile, shaking head, and all.

And, I gotta admit, I wouldn't have felt nearly as righteous, getting to cross "build gate" off my list if I'd finished in a more timely fashion. I wouldn't have brought up the mental picture of my dad's smiling face - a face I dearly miss. 

I'm trying to be kinder to myself these days, so instead of dwelling on the part where I procrastinated on a simple project for half a decade, I'm going to try to focus on the second part - the part where I DID get it done. I will hold to the image of my dad peering down from his comfy perch on high, shaking his head with a half-smile, and saying to his brothers (who are lounging in their matching comfy perches), "she's done me proud."

I hope so, Dad. I really do.