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| Todd Bursch Jan 1964 - Jul 2020 |
I liked him, but can't say, despite the fact he was married to my sister for 32 years, I knew him well. Todd was uncomfortable when thrust into large groups of people; a bit hard of hearing. Since our family is large, and I rarely saw him outside group gatherings, my sense of him is mostly filtered through conversations with my sister, Colleen.
He was a man who wasted few words. Once, he called Colleen, who was at an appointment at the hospital. "Haley (their daughter) is hurt. I'm taking her in."
That was it; the entire message.
Colleen was at wits end. What????? By the time she caught up with them and learned Haley fallen on a piece of play equipment and managed to tear a big gash in her thigh, requiring stitches, Haley had been stitched up and taken care of. It took Colleen quite a bit longer to collect her scattered nerves and calm them down.
I do have a few treasured memories of my own. Back when my son was learning to drive, he was having trouble keeping the car centered in the lane, and I didn't know how to help him guide the car. Todd drove trucks for most of his life, and since we happened to be staying there overnight, I asked him if he'd give Joe a few pointers.
We went out in the car, and Todd watched for just a few minutes. From the backseat, I listened as, in his calm steady voice, he told Joe to keep the middle of the hood centered on the stripe on the side of the road. (or, in this case, since we were on a gravel road, the edge of the dirt.) It was exactly what Joe needed - he straightened out the car, finished the drive into town for whatever it was we were fetching, and from then on, had no more issues with wandering about his lane. I was most grateful for the parenting assist!
We first heard Todd had cancer shortly after we buried Libby; about eighteen months ago. They did surgery to remove his kidney; were optimistic the cancer was contained and they'd gotten it all. Sadly, their optimism was short-lived. There were a few rogue cells hiding out and by October of last year, they'd grown enough to show up on the scans. *sigh*
Kidney cancer doesn't respond well to chemotherapy, and they couldn't do further surgery because of the location of the tumor. The diagnosis set the end of the road, but Todd didn't let it stop him from living.
He made a lot of lifestyle changes - changed the foods he was eating and lost some excess weight to reduce the workload of his remaining kidney and liver. For several months, despite the diagnosis, he felt no ill effects; to the contrary, the changes he had made had him feeling better than he had in some time. He had time to tidy up some loose ends; to tell his people he loved them - no small gift.
But the cancer had its way, as cancer will. When he started to go downhill, he mercifully went down pretty quickly. Colleen told me his end was peaceful. His children were all able to be near, to say goodbye. As he left this world, they drew in and provided support for one another, continuing a lifelong pattern of close knit love.
Todd, I am sorry you have left this life too soon. I hope and pray you are in the better place your sustaining faith promised is beyond death's door. For me, you continued the lessons Libby started to teach; reminded me cancer is not the enemy. The enemy is fear. You didn't let fear rob you of the days you had - in these days of pandemic uncertainty, I needed the reminder of the lesson.
Rest in Peace.
We will miss you.
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