Goodbye, Libby (continued)

Libby Lizard Elizabeth Elephant
1967 - 2018

Last Friday night was the longest night of the year. Saturday, the year turned; the days will be no shorter this season.  That same day, we gathered as family and friends to celebrate Libby's life. It seemed a fitting day to bid her adieu.

The service was beautiful. I ended up back a few rows from most of the family, but next to my kids, their presence a solid reminder of all that is good in my life. I sat there and I cried and I cried and I cried. The testimonies were beautiful. The service ended. I wasn't ready to go, so I sat there while the rest of the people left the room.

I waited for quiet, and I sang my own goodbye song to her (it wasn't part of the program; I was good with that), asking the angels to welcome and guide her along her way. I sat down again, and cried and cried and cried some more. The tears wouldn't stop - too many levels of grief, too hard to say this last farewell. After some time, two of my cousins came and sat with me. I can't remember what they said, but they didn't try to stop the tears, rather just rode with the storm until it stilled.

The rest of the afternoon is a blur of hugs and sad faces and smiles as we shared stories of our lives. So many people who loved her were there, and so many more weren't able to be there, but sent their love and care to send her along her way. We are loved.

Sunday, we'd long ago planned a Christmas gathering at another sister's house. Exhausted from the day before, with sore eyes and hearts, we gathered to celebrate anyways. We traded gifts (Libby loved the dice game we use to share the goodies), we got to watch the baby enjoy the best gift under the tree (the ribbon from one of the packages, naturally). We ate too much good food (of course!), some of us watched the football game (it seemed fitting to have it on in the background), we caught up on the non-Libby parts of each other's lives.

I needed the gathering. Needed the laughter and chaos and joy of Christmas present; needed the reminder that the darkness will not stay. My brain questions it at times, but my heart knows the world and the seasons and life all turn in harmony with the stately movement of the stars.

Love Is.

Merry Christmas, anyways!