I think I'm over-identifying with the cats this morning.
A while back, I wrote about the battle I'd lost - Monster had decided the sink was not only a BOX, but even better, was a BOXWITHWATER! Since then, getting a drink from the trickling faucet has become his cherished morning ritual. He prowls the upstairs as I get ready each morning. As soon as I set foot on the stairs, he zooms past me to get to the sink to await his drink. (I've added a daily note to self: take care on the stairs - if he hasn't already zoomed past, he will, and worry about my footing is not on his radar screen.)
It took Angel a while, but she got in on the action. She watched the ritual for about a month, then cautiously joined him in the sink, then not-so-cautiously.
I've managed to hold my line about the countertops being off limits, and they're really not a problem in the sink because as soon as the water is turned to full flow and starts splashing them, they're outta there.
I want to reuse the kitchen sink that came with the house. It's the style I want, and is heavy-duty enough to last for some time. Unfortunately, we couldn't find a model number for it, so the countertop people were unable to pull a template to do their cutout. They're ready to begin fabrication and so asked us to pull the sink so they are sure to cut the proper sized hole.
You see where this is going. Last night, Joe de-installed the sink so we could get it down to them. This morning, the cats got on the counter for their morning drink, looking desolately into the hole where the sink used to be. I let them look for a minute, and got them a bowl of fresh water to drink. They took a few polite laps, but then returned to looking at the hole, then at me, then back to the hole.
I needed to get ready for work, so shooed them off the counter, and started to pull my things together. The minute I turned away, they started to double-team me. One would jump up. While I removing him from the counter, the other would take a turn. They'd get up there and meow plaintively at me - what did you do with the BOXWITHWATER??? - winding unhurriedly but effectively away from me as I tried to dump them back on the floor.
Their confusion was clear. They like their morning drink and couldn't understand why the box was gone. They looked to me to fix it. I had no way to let them know this is a temporary loss, that the BOXWITHWATER will return sometime next week (along with new and improved countertops!)
I kind of feel the same way. Cancer has been messing with my treasured rituals all year - disturbing the balance of work-family-friends-leisure. I don't understand why, and would like it back the way it was. Please and thank you. Perhaps there is a larger picture beyond my ken, but I am unable to see it and am confused and a bit forlorn.
And here comes the trust thing, 'round again.
Because I have to believe there is a larger picture, that all of this will somehow get fit back in and the hole will be refilled. Not that it happened for a reason, I don't believe there are reasons for stuff like this, but that the Universe is on the side of life and will move to mend the rift as best it can.
Trust - I'm working on it.
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