I had tried hot yoga once a decade or two ago and swore I'd never go back, but when she came home from her class with her back clearly feeling better, I decided to give it one more try. I like to do things with Kate when I can, and perhaps I had changed. Perhaps a different style of class would be better.
So, off we went to class together.
I am not a great fan of hot and sweaty; my goal was simply to stay in the hot room for the entire ninety minutes, to do what poses I could do. I made it. I stayed.
At the end, I laid down for savasana and was pleasantly surprised to find every inch of my skin awake with a pleasant tingle. I am alive, it told me. I did a hard thing, it feels good to have done it.
*sigh* Just like that, I was hooked. I started going to class most Saturday mornings.
I took a break from yoga while I was in California. Still, when I came back to class two weeks ago, I expected to pick up where I'd left off.
Wrong. I barely made it through class. I spent over half my time sitting on the floor, trying to convince my lungs they could relax and take in a full breath. SO frustrating! During savasana, I was discouraged, sad, asking myself why I was there putting myself through this torture. If the magic tingle happened, I wasn't in a place to notice it.
This past weekend, class was a hard sell. WHY did I want to do that again?????
I convinced myself to go to class anyways, and as class got moving, was amazed to find I'd brought a whole new me. Yes, I was hot and dripping sweat, but when we got to the spot where my breathing had locked up the week before, nothing happened. I was able to continue moving and breathing, stretching and loosening all the parts. The magic part at the end returned!
??????
I've been pondering these disparate experiences all weekend. How can so much change from one week to the next?
I'm taking this as a lesson in the importance of showing up. A Notice from the Universe to me that life is not static; from week to week, it changes at levels I can't sense. A Reminder to not let failure yesterday stop me from taking a chance on succeeding today.
Take one more step.