Cancaversary #13

 

I must admit - back when my cancer diagnosis knocked me off the road and out of my camper van, I really didn't think I'd be alive thirteen years later, still trying to make sense of it all. 

But, here I am. wow!

So far, my cancer has stayed gone, at least so far as I know. The oncology team kicked me out several years ago; I never did have any follow up scans to make sure the surgery had caught everything. But, I have no reason to think it's actively lurking about; I have none of the symptoms which would signal it has resurrected itself.

This year, the knowledge is a bit bittersweet, given what Kate's still going through. Despite knowing the futility of the question, the thought still crosses my mind, "why her and not me???" I'd trade places with her, really I would...

But such is not within my control, so every time the question floats up, I let it go, let it float away again.

This year, knowing she is still here, knowing her cancer is undetectable (for now), I am SO grateful to be here in California to celebrate the anniversary with her. 

I think, somewhere in my head, she was still in the place she was when I'd last seen her in late October - complexion, tinged gray, breathing, a struggle. 

But between then and now, she's been busy doing all the things she can do to help herself heal - physical therapy, massage, acupuncture, yoga, rest - and she's made great strides in her recovery. She looks and feels worlds better than she did when I last saw her. *whew* 

She learned some valuable lessons about the price you pay when you attempt to push through it during her first bout with the disease; is actively working to not repeat those mistakes. When she returned to work two weeks ago, she returned on a part-time basis.

I am so proud of her.

We are here!!!!