And

Last week, the news scared me. We are at war in the Middle East? Didn't we learn anything last time we tried this?

And

Last week we had a taste of spring. The highs were in the upper 50s and lower 60s, the sun peeping through the clouds to say, 'Daylight is returning! Spring will come!'

Recently, I've struggled to get out of bed. I find it depressing when I sleep tolerably well, and wake up with my joints aching, surrounded by a miasma of fatigue - a side effect of the medication I need to take for as long as I can tolerate it. Argh!

And

Recently, I've been religious about sticking with my exercise schedule, which is heavily weighted towards yoga classes. While I start most classes tired and achy, somewhere in the middle of the session magic almost always happens, and by the time it's over, movement has relieved most of the aches, the fatigue has ebbed a bit.

It seems it is my season to work to hold competing truths.

And.
Both are true.

I've spent a good portion of my life using the word 'but' instead of 'and.
It's spring, but the news is scary. I'm achy, but yoga helps.
'But' negates one part or the other of my truth. 
'And' says to me, 'Yup. Suckiness and loveliness are co-existing in your days.'

I'm working to do things differently this round. By working to hold these competing truths, I avoid veering into either deep pessimism or false cheer. Cancer is complex. Life is complex. 

Turns out black and white are mostly only good for line drawings. Depth requires shades of gray.

And it is in the depth of life where I am finding beauty. The beauty of grit and resilience and healing.

The reminder that today is precious. Today is the only day I have.

I am here!