Fire!

The photos of fire streaming in from California seem a far cry from the fire of my Advent candles, but they've been a visceral reminder of the power of nature. Here, fire is a symbol of hope of light in the darkness. There, it's a cry of danger from our planet; a harbinger of fallout in the days to come from our failure to heed the warning signs.

 I have, of course, seen photos of fire and devastation before. But like the difference between hearing other people's cancer stories and hearing someone you love has received a positive test result, the fear strikes closer to home when it's affecting your personal people.

This time, the fire maps show roads I've driven on, beaches where I've found solace listening to the waves. In my mind's eye, I see what was, and try to reconcile it with the ash-filled frames of the photos in the paper. I cry.

This time, it's my daughter and cousin who have evacuated from their homes and are bunking with friends until the fires can be put out. This time, it's my friend Kelly who is reeling from the news that while her condo building is still there, the surrounding neighborhood, the homes of her Covid coven people, have all been turned to ash.

Once again, my heart cries with fear and grief. "How can this be????"

Once again, I am reminded, this time forcefully, today is the only day I have. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Nothing is guaranteed, except death. Cold comfort, that.

To escape the spiral down, I pivot to what I know is good. My people have evacuated, but they are alive and well. They have friends; are not alone as they cope with this mess. As Mr. Rogers said, "look for the helpers." The firefighters are working around the clock to contain the blaze. Our friends from Mexico and Canada have sent equipment to help in the fight. 

Sometimes, bad stuff happens. No avoiding it. 

But every time, every time, I remember to look for it, I find Good, and the presence of Good makes it easier to stop and breathe for a moment. To figure out one next step, then to take that step.

Sometimes, one step is all I can do. 

Sometimes, that's enough. Because when I take one step, then one more, experience tells me I will eventually come out of the dark times. This, too, shall pass.