The one he picked, Dragon Age, sounded like, yes, it might be fun, and so I picked up a copy and loaded it onto my laptop.
I underestimated both my level of exhaustion and my willingness to look at a computer screen when not getting paid. The program languished on my desktop, unused, unopened, until my trip got aborted and I returned to work.
Given I was living in an apartment, I thought surely I'd want something to do in the evenings. I figured I'd open it then, but nope. The aftermath of cancer wiped out my energy levels for the next three years.
But then, once I was recovered and unemployed and staying with Kate in Minnesota? Nope, not then. Once the big remodeling project on my current house was essentially finished? Nope. Certainly not after I found steady employment with Jack Cooper. During my alone Covid days, when I had little to do and all day to do it? Nope, not then, either.
Finally, I decided a decade of procrastination was enough. Either play the stupid game, or quit worrying about it! I turned on my now-aging laptop to play the game - and got a dreaded hard drive sector 0 error. Unrecoverable. Fatal. *sigh*
But now. Now my desire had been thwarted, and now I WANTED to play the game. I started casting about for ways to obtain an older computer so I could play the game. One of my young friends had upgraded her gaming computer, and volunteered to donate the old one to my cause. (Thank you, Ione.)
I triumphantly brought my new hardware home, hooked it up, loaded the game. And promptly let it sit for another year.
By this past fall, I was getting a little impatient with myself. (You'd think I was up for the Procrastinator of the Year award or something!)
What was my problem??? Surely, I could at least give it a try!! So I added it as a task to my to-do list. I forwarded the task, untouched, on to the next week. the next week. the next week. then gave myself an ultimatum. Now, or never.
Fine.
I told me I was going to spend an hour each evening on the game for the next ten days. (Which was enough time for me to know if this is one of the ways I want to spend my time, or not.) I sat down, let the computer sort through its unwieldy pile of uninstalled fixes, and loaded up the program.
I set up my character, 'woke up' in the mage's tower, and within three days, was properly hooked. This wasn't some mindless, clear-the-grid-of-matching-tiles game. This was a story! With people and a plot line and an IMPORTANT QUEST to complete.
Within two weeks, my problem switched from making myself sit down with the game to limiting the amount of time I was spending on it. Turns out it's a perfect way to pass the dark fall evenings. Who knew? (OK. Every adolescent in the country, but hey...)
It took almost three months, but (spoiler alert!) I managed to kill the demon and save the land from the evil blight. I was a hero!
As I played, I found myself wishing life could have a do-over button. You know the one - you've made a string of bad choices, or chosen a bad strategy to approach the battle, or missed an important clue along the way, and suddenly you're wandering lost without a clear vision of how to move forward. (Or, gotten killed by the bad guys. Happens.)
You sigh, go back to your last save, and give it another shot. And another, repeating as necessary, until you've learned the skills you need to make it past the current obstacle.
Wouldn't that be handy? Think of all the relationships I could have mended along the way. I could explore the roads not taken, then back off if it turns out my first choice was better after all. I could be all-knowing, all-wise, invincible!
But then I wouldn't be having a human experience, would I? That's one of the things that makes this life so vital - no resets; no do-overs.
And I rather like my precious, precarious, life.
No comments:
Post a Comment