Back to Quiet

 

I woke up this morning and started the process of putting my house back in order after the wonderful chaos of the weekend. As I collected sheets and folded blankets, my mind wandered back over the events of the weekend.

For three days, my home was filled with (up to) 30 of the people with whom it does my heart good to spend time. All weekend, I got good hugs, *ahhh*, filling an empty spot deep within. My stomach is still savoring the delicious food prepared by other people (my favorite kind). My fridge is full of leftovers, so I will get to enjoy the treats over and over again this week. I got to talk with people I love, hear the highlights of what's up in their lives. 

Even the pets seemed to enjoy the change in routine. 

Sylvester's 'real' people came in from California, and he was overjoyed to see and smell them again. He did have a bit of a dilemma when it came to bedtime. We were sleeping on separate floors, so there was no way to guard us all properly. They were here for four nights - he ended up spending two with me, two with them, splitting the difference so as not to play favorites.

I don't normally think of cats as social creatures, but Monster, who normally comes to the kitchen sink for his morning drink before returning to one or another of his nap spots, spent four hours there Thursday, just chilling out and watching as breakfast and pies were prepared. Fortunately, it's a double sink, so dishes and hands could be washed as necessary. I was surprised he didn't leave his post when he inevitably got splashed with water, but he held firm, reveling in the many hands willing to spend a moment or two petting him.

The silence has been quite loud since everyone left. But while the contrast is still jolting, it seems the work I've done to reach a place where I am OK being alone has been effective. Instead of the crash I was more than half-expecting, based on past experience, I feel more of a sense of wistful longing. *whew!*

I was glad, last night, to have the freedom to return to my yoga class; to take time to breathe and attempt to loosen my tightly wound hips. I was glad, this morning, to wake knowing I had the day to bring my house back to its usual state of almost-order. 

I think I might finally be figuring out how a good retirement life looks for me. Slowly, I'm getting there. It's a good feeling.

Again this year, none of my traditional ways to spend Christmas will be happening. The freedom to spend such an emotion-laden day as I see fit feels overwhelming, but also, I can feel the joy behind the lack of structure. Already I have invitations from several people to join their celebrations. I need not spend the day alone unless that is my choice - it does my heart good to know this. 

Ready or not, on to the Holiday Season I go!