My musings never came close to today's reality. I never imagined a world where I would have access to the internet, but not toilet paper; where I would be healthy, but asked to stay away from all other people. A world where an entire semester of school would be cancelled - those poor college kids - how will they be able to finish their semester's work???. A world where work-at-home would be mandated for most, but where medical workers and trash truck drivers and supermarket checkout people would somehow rally and carry on and do their jobs despite the danger of infection, so I can continue to buy food and get rid of waste, and be cared for should I fall ill.
I feel like I've stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. It's all normal on the surface; the heat and lights work, I have food in the fridge and water freely available from the tap. But underneath, I feel a sense of impending calamity; the world has shifted beneath my feet and won't easily find even an uneasy balance any time soon.
I can't imagine the scope of the economic fallout which will surely accompany the closing of so many businesses. I know many people in our country have less than a month's expenses in reserve - when they are unable to work, how will they be able to live once the bills come due? And for those essential workers who do fall sick - who will replace them while they recover from their illness?
So much anxiety, so few answers. Several times this week, I've found myself on a downward spiral of fear and uncertainty. But, so far, I've managed to stop the spiral; the hard-learned lessons of my last decade halting my descent into fear.
Today, I still have. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.
Look for beauty in each day - so far, I've ALWAYS found it when I remembered to seek it out.
Stop. Breathe. Try to Relax. (this part is escaping me today, but I'm working on it...)
This, too, shall pass.
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