The days are as short as they're going to get. According to my weather app, here in Kansas City, we add nine minutes of daylight between today and January 6th, but between now and then, the light shifts. We lose four more minutes of morning light, trading them for thirteen additional minutes of light in the evenings. The sun doesn't start getting up earlier until the 7th. I've never noticed this before, though it's probably been doing it that way my entire life. (you think?) Interesting phenomenon.
I've spent the last few weeks in my annual struggle with the darkness. My energy lags, I find myself caught in spirals of dark and gloomy thoughts. I mentally gloss right over the good news parts of life, and find my thoughts lasering in on the dark side.
And then, to add insult to injury, I start feeling guilty for letting the gloom take hold. 'Tis the season to be jolly, not Grinch-ish!
*sigh*
Fortunately, years of coping with the holiday blues have taught me to enjoy the holidays anyways.
I've managed to do all my Christmas prep despite my tendency to stop and curl up on the sofa underneath my white fuzzy blanket when the mood strikes. The blanket came from Libby a few years back. I've been missing her something fierce as the first anniversary of her death has rolled around. She'd be all about my taking time to poke the Libby-sized hole in my life to see if the edges have started to heal. She'd have absolutely zero patience for the times the edge-poking turns to wallowing, and I can hear her voice when I cross the line: Remember to live the days you have!. Once I hear her, I get up and start living my day again - she's still hard to ignore.
Candles and Christmas tree lights do a wonderful job of adding beauty to the darkness.
Tonight, I will both acknowledge the darkness and celebrate the anticipation of the return of the light. For it's all part of the cycle of life, and if we never knew the darkness, we'd also never know the stars.
Happy Winter Solstice!
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