In the five weeks I worked between returning to school after my surgery and Labor Day weekend, I put in a little over 80 hours of overtime.
I was driven - I wanted to get those iPads ready to go. And I did it.
But I'm not so sure my doctors would approve. I know my body doesn't.
During the week of 12-hour days when we were distributing the iPads, I hit the proverbial wall, and I hit it hard. Even though I spent the entire Labor Day weekend just lying about, I'm still beat. Since I can't feel any pain in my chest, it's easy to forget that it's still trying to heal from some pretty major surgery. I've followed the letter of the 5lb rule, but not the law.
So, it's time to sit back and reestablish some boundaries. I started today, by leaving work on time. I need to realize the work isn't going to go anywhere and there are no prizes for killing myself trying to get it done. In fact, most people won't even notice. The only thing I'm going to get if I push it too hard is an exhausted and rebellious body.
Other than that, how am I healing?
For the most part, pretty well. The latest indignity is that the healing tissues have begun to itch, and while I am certainly aware of the itch, I can't feel the scratch, because there are no nerve endings in my skin! The nerve! (so to speak) I just about took my skin off the other night, trying to get at it. Fortunately for my tender skin, I figured out that if I rub hard on the itch, it does ease it.
The restriction on stretching has my upper body all out of whack. And while I don't miss the actual process of exercising, I do miss being done - exercise is my favorite antidepressant.
I hope to see the doctor next week and get cleared to begin moving again.
In the meantime, I need to remember:
Stop.
Breathe.
Relax.
SLOW DOWN. Heed your own advice. Yes, that work will be there tomorrow when you go back. In the meantime, you are not only overtiring your traumatized body but you are going to get burnt out mentally. Take if from one who's done the 60-70 hr weeks - there's no house burning down, nobody's bleeding to death, and all work and no play makes Janice a melancholy girl. You need to block out serious "me" time to recharge your batteries. The stuff you aren't doing is the stuff you should most be doing. Call me if you want company for your pursuit of fun and frivolity. Or someone to mop your floor.
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