Wednesday, December 7, 2016
I know the sun is out there somewhere (there's definitely daylight out there), but there's no trace of it behind the clouds.
I used to think I didn't like winter because of the cold. My time in the camper taught me it wasn't the cold that bothers me as much as the darkness. The day doesn't even pretend to brighten before seven; by five, it's already taken its leave.
'I don't WANNA get up', my inner child whines every morning, snuggling into the warmth of the blankets for just five more minutes. 'It's NEVER gonna be light again, and I HATE the COLD!'. (It's a good thing I have to get up to go pee - I don't know if I'd ever get me out of bed...)
I envy the trees on my daily walk. 'Sleep', I tell them. 'Sleep until the sunlight returns, until your blood stirs and it's safe to let your buds begin to unfurl.'
I dress in layers to ward off the chill - more inner than outer; there's no problem with my furnace and the house is the same temperature it was a month ago.
I pull the blinds to close out the dark.
I light candles to remind myself that dark cannot extinguish the light, but light can chase the darkness away.
I drink lots of caffeinated hot tea, drawing energy and warmth from the leaves.
I put on the Christmas CDs to play quietly in the background. (I have enough that no, I don't tire of them in the three weeks I listen to them each year.)
I snuggle in after dinner with a book and a warm throw, easily convincing myself it's too dark and cold to do anything productive around the house.
It's just for a few weeks. If I focus on keeping an even keel, just for today, I can make it through.
one step at a time.