Monday, March 30, 2015

Real Cancer

When they did testing on my tumor to see how likely it was to return, the answer came back as low - I have a low chance of recurrence.  Which is why I didn't have to have chemo; for me the likelihood of the cancer returning was balanced by the likelihood of damage from the chemo.  So, I've 'just' had hormone therapy as treatment.

At some point, I was telling someone all this, and they said, 'So, you didn't have real cancer then.'

say what???  whatever.

I'm sorry to say Kate won't have trouble quibbling with the distinction.   She definitely has real cancer.  Her tumor test came back in the intermediate range, and since she is so young, they highly recommended she go through a three month round of chemo, just to make sure they catch any stray cells. 

I don't have the details of the treatment regimen they're recommending, but know it's a three drug cocktail and yes, it will make her sicker than a dog and all of her hair will fall out.  She'll start the treatment soon; within the next week or so.  And the extra delay in her ability to start that California job that's been waiting for her is likely to turn this bump in the road into a real detour.  I'm not sure how long they'll be able to wait.

Part of me is railing at the fates.  again.  It couldn't have waited six months!  By then, she'd have been done with school and settled into her new job for a bit and surely they'd have worked with her.  But the other part of me thinks the timing - if there's ever a good time for cancer - worked just fine.  She has a wonderful support system where she is; family and friends to help, doctors she trusts.  Good insurance.  It could have been awfully lonely there in CA, just settling in only to be hit by the cancer truck.

So, once again, I find myself working on the trust thing.  To trust in her doctors to prescribe the correct treatment.  To trust her support system in Minnesota, since I can't drop everything to just go up there and be there with her for this whole ordeal.  (trusting her support system is one of the easy ones; they're great people.)  To trust that when one door closes, another opens - that should her current promised job fall through because of this stinkin' disease, another will come and the road will circle back around to a place where she is happy and healthy once again.

** sigh **
cancer sucks.

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