Saturday, July 6, 2013


Wyoming hills
As I was plotting out the general outline of my trip, and my finger was tracing the route through Wyoming, the friend I was sitting with observed, "It's a whole lotta nothing out there."

She was right.  It's been a whole lot of nothing.  A lot like western Kansas, only bumpy.  It's not as striking as Utah, yet the drive is still beautiful.

Yesterday, as I was driving along, I finally got into the thinking zone.  I was listening to the radio, and a country song came on, something about "Jesus, take the wheel".  And I found myself in tears, which is always a good clue that I've stumbled across a sore spot.

So, I poked at it a bit, to see what would come up. 

A feeling that no one's in control of my life right now, and I wish someone was.  I'm behind the wheel and steering along as best I can, but the past eighteen months have left me uncertain and unsure of the direction I am or ought to be going.

I'd like for God to be in control, or at least, pointing out the right road.  But, unfortunately, I have no sense of God's Presence, either.  I pray, but the prayers just die out in the emptiness.  (I envy those with a sure sense of God and Her Love.)  And I'm not putting it all on God, either - perhaps there is a response and I don't know it when I see it.  It's very possible.

definitely a sore spot.

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