|Rock Hound State Park, NM|
With a heavy heart, I've decided it's time for me to give up my illusion my current track is a detour. I've been following it for the better part of a year. Somewhere along the way it's changed from a detour into the new road I am to follow for at least the next few years.
It is not a path devoid of beauty, love and joy. It's just not the one I wanted to be on. But it does me no good to keep wishing I had been able to finish my trip. It ain't gonna happen. The money I had budgeted for the road has gone to keeping me alive and resetting up house. Yes, I will still be able to take a month each year to continue my camper van travels, but I will need to count the days I spend traveling. Real life wins.
I have a good spot for my camper to stay, but it sits in the sun. To protect it, a friend bought me a cover, which arrived last week; Joe helped me to put it on. It covers the van quite snugly, down to about six inches from the ground, and has a side zipper so you can get into the van without having to take the cover off. At first I thought it symbolized the shuttering of my dream, putting it under wraps, calling it done, but then I had another thought. Perhaps, along with the van, the cover also protects the remnants of my dream - keeping it from drying up, cracking and fading completely away in the harsh light of the sun.
A day will come when I am free again. It will. And when it does, I will take the cover off my dream, reshape it to fit where I am when the day comes, and drive off once again to see beautiful places.